Living in the past.

I have spent most of my life living in the past, not letting go. I’ve soon realized how detrimental this is for my future if I don’t learn to let go of my past. I’ve also spent my life still now pushing everybody out, my past experience with my first love was with my parents, love hurts. That’s what I was brought up with and I’m tired of hurting so I push everybody away , I need to stop. Why do I push everybody away? I didn’t want them to hurt me, it was a constant battle with myself , I didn’t wanted them to hurt me, I just ended up hurting myself.

My husband was a wonderful man. All he ever did was try to show me love, one thing you have to understand is that he knew my father since we were kids I have known my husband since I was five, he was my brothers friend, when we were kids, so he has seen my dad in action. So he understood me in his own way, as much as he tried, I would never believe that he loved me , When we were first married, he used to post it up, affirmations. I wasn’t ready for them, how he tried so hard to get me to understand that I am worthy. I am worthy of love. I’m worthy of a beautiful life.

So it’s now time for me , it’s past do to let go of my past and start looking forward to my future, I have absolutely no idea who I am without my husband. For 30 years it was , Now it’s just me who is Dawn Louise? I’m looking forward to meeting her.